The relationship between a caregiver and a person with a disability is more than just a role—it's a partnership built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. Whether the caregiver is a family member, friend, or professional, their support plays a crucial role in ensuring not only physical and emotional well-being. A strong caregiver relationship fosters independence, enhances quality of life, and creates a sense of security for both individuals.
Beyond daily care, this relationship is essential for safety. Clear communication and understanding between both individuals help prevent accidents, ensure medical needs are met, and provide critical support in emergencies. When caregivers and those they support work as a team, they create an environment where both can feel confident, protected, and empowered.
Insights on Navigating Paid Caregivers from FOP Community Member Trichele Reece
In this post, we connect with FOP community member, Trichele Reece to explore why this connection is so important and how both caregivers and those they support can nurture a healthy, balanced, and safe relationship.
About Trichele
Trichele Reese was born and raised in Queens, NY, and is the youngest of six siblings. Growing up in New York City—often called the windows to the world—was an experience she cherished, despite facing physical challenges from a young age. At seven, she began experiencing difficulty walking, but it wasn’t until she was 14 that the full impact of Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva (FOP) became apparent. A torn hamstring during a split in dance class triggered her first major flare-up, leading to the need for crutches. By 17, as the progression of FOP continued, Trichele transitioned to using a motorized wheelchair. Around this time, her family relocated to their original hometown of Meridian, MS, where Trichele discovered an appreciation for small-city life. Determined to pursue her passion for media, she earned an associate degree in Broadcasting and began working as a news producer at WTOK, a local station. She also served briefly as an administrative assistant at LIFE, Meridian’s independent living center. In 2005, she achieved another academic milestone by earning a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication from Montana State University. In 2007, Trichele accomplished a lifelong goal of moving back to New York City to live independently. Despite its challenges, she remains unwavering in her love for the city she proudly calls the best in the world.
How would you describe your relationship with your caregivers?
The relationships my caregivers and I have are varied. They differ based on the length of time working together, personality, and sense of humor (or lack of one). While one may be very quiet and reserved we may just stick to the tasks at hand. Another attendant and I can have very long conversations about any number of topics. I have had attendants who have felt more like family and some attendants I couldn’t tell you much about them beyond work.
What do you look for when you hire a caregiver?
I look for professional integrity. I’ve interviewed many people who showed up in pajamas, with their children or drunk. Character goes a long way. Experience is important, especially if the case requires high-level skills. But if experience is lacking, the ability to listen, learn, and adapt helps fill the gaps. Schedule flexibility and availability for possible backup is always appreciated.
What is it about your relationship that helps you feel most comfortable/safe with your caregivers?
Being open and communicative. Being respectful of their individual lives and commitments outside of work and vice versa. I value my privacy and my home. To have caregivers who respect that is invaluable.
What training do you provide to your caregivers?
It depends on the situation. Normally I will have a prospective attendant come to my house while the attendant working and I show them the routine(s). At times, I’ve made emergency hires where there was no time for training before starting the job. So we take it step by step, day by day.
How do you communicate with your caregivers about your needs and schedule?
Communicating openly and honestly is very important. the job and my expectations are made clear so there is no need for guesses. Also, my attendants and I try our best to give proper notification time for any schedule changes or conflicts.
What do you value most in a caregiver?
I can’t stress honesty and being trustworthy enough. Attendants have access to very private details of my life. I’ve shared my house keys with some. There’s a lot of trust that goes into that! Discretion and respect for me and my space is a must. A sense of humor and open personality isn’t required but it makes the day much more fun!
What skills do you feel are important to have as an individual who manages and guides a caregiving team?
Be understanding, considerate, and respectful. Being friends isn’t necessary, but it never hurts to be friendly. Boundaries and expectations must be clear.
What advice would you give to someone who is just beginning the journey of hiring a caregiver?
Have a support team if possible. It’s helpful to have a loved one around for interviews. Someone whose judgment of character you trust. Trust yourself and your instincts. Know that discernment gets easier with time and experience. You will learn by trial and error how to craft your questions and detail what your needs and expectations are. You may not have any bad experiences, but reality says you might. So be prepared and just enjoy the ride of life.
Looking for More Resources?
Choosing a Caregiver: FOP'er Nancy Sando created a guide to hiring and managing the personal care attendants that may be an important part of a person's team when living independently.
